Ten Interesting Things About INDIA

 I emailed this to my family a couple of weeks ago and they suggested I post it on the blog as well.  This is what I, Elaina, have found interesting about India thus far!

1- There is no such thing as privacy. Heide and I have to go down to the patio to check our email every day and I try my best to go when I think no one will be there.  As soon as you sit down with a computer, people slowly start to gather.  Even as I am typing this email, two Indian women have gathered behind me.  They don’t say anything, they just watch.  Oh, here comes a few more. And…now a man is sitting next to me with his face closer to the screen than mine is. They don’t say anything so I feel like I am their prey, being eerily stalked.  If I pretend I don’t see them, maybe they will go away?

2 – If it has wheels and it can move, EVERYONE FITS.  I’m talking about trains, auto-rickshaws, and our favorite – buses.  The buses in particular always say things on the sides like “to seat – 25 people.” HA. That’s funny. It should read “to seat – 3 people per square foot.” It isn’t so bad in the mornings but once the afternoon rolls around, riding the bus is more like riding “Indiana Jones” at Disney World with no seat belts and five times as many people.  If you get pushed to the back of the bus, you essentially have to crowd surf when it is time to get off.  Sometimes I don’t even have to hold on to anything if I am squished by 30 people, keeping me nice and cozy in the middle. Keep in mind this is all assuming you actually make it on the bus. It takes a few days to figure out the run and jump method since the buses don’t always stop at night.  It’s even more fun getting off…

Busy Busy streets of Kolkata!

3 – If you can’t handle the staring, sunglasses are your best friend.  I initially assumed the staring wouldn’t be so bad in Calcutta since the Missionaries of Charity get thousands of volunteers from all over the world each year.  I was wrong.  It doesn’t bother me anymore really, but instead it fascinates me.  People stop dead in their tracks when they see you walking towards them.  They stop whatever they are doing, they end conversations, and they just stare – mouths open as if I have a monkey on my head.  If I am sitting down somewhere where people are walking by, some of them will actually stop walking and take off their sunglasses in order to get a better look.  Then follows an awkward stare down where I have no choice but to wait until they are no longer fascinated with my white skin.  Heide developed a strategy where she sneakily pulls out the camera without breaking eye contact and snaps a picture of them. (See Exhibit A)  That usually makes them realize they are being a little creepy.  It might sound a little weird but hey we get our picture taken by strangers numerous times a day.  I can't decide if I feel like a celebrity or a zoo animal.

Exhibit A

4 – CAR HORNS. I cannot wait to be back in the States where using your car horn is actually a little rude rather than a natural part of driving.  People use them for no reason here.  And its not just once in a while.  Some people hold them down for the entire length of the drive, and others seem to be subconsciously playing an obnoxiously loud melody.  You would think maybe the car horns would help cut down on accidents, but the amount of damage on every car suggests that theory is incorrect. Crashes here are much different than in the U.S. as well.  Here it is more like bumper cars.  It is not uncommon to see cars touching each other on the road.  If two cars happen to crash, the drivers scream at each other from inside their cars and keep going.  Same thing happens when cars bump into people, only the pedestrians are usually a little more upset.  I’m pretty sure car insurance doesn’t exist here.

These signs are everywhere.  If only people would obey them.....

5 -  Indian men only want to know three things from you.  Where you from?  How long you been here? and.. Do you have boyfriend?  We try to be as friendly as possible but there are days where we just can’t handle it anymore.  On those days I’m from Columbia and I don’t speak English and Heide is from Germany with a lack of English knowledge as well.  Saying a few phrases in Spanish or German actually does the trick quite nicely.  We also bought fake wedding rings, which seems to
be enough proof for the skeptics who don’t actually believe we are married.

6- Indian women want to be white just as badly as American women want to be brown.  It is really quite fascinating and a little eye-opening.  Heide and I have had countless Indian women tell us that we are beautiful because we are white and they are ugly because they are black.  There are just as many commercials in the US for tanning lotions as there are here for whitening lotions.  I didn’t even know that such a thing existed.  All the Indian women in commercials are very white just like all the American women in our commercials are very tan. Its kind of sad that no one can be happy with their own skin color.

HOLY COW!

7- Rice, Rice, and maybe a little more rice.  Don’t get me wrong, I like rice.  But the amount of rice they eat at every meal makes me wonder how there are so few fat Indians.  In addition to rice, they eat a lot of potatoes, chicken, hardboiled eggs, and bread.  I like Indian food but I miss a lot of things from home.  They don’t really eat cheese here and I never thought I would say this but I just want a nice green salad without risking Cholera.  We eat a lot of mangoes, bananas, and the occasional jackfruit but I miss fruits like strawberries, apples, and kiwis.  You won’t find those fruits on these streets.

8- Speaking of bananas…It is so strange to eat bananas that haven’t been genetically modified and pesticided to death. (Yes, I made that verb up)  The bananas here are so imperfect looking compared to back home.  They are small and shriveled with very thin peels and often time moldy brown peels.  Yet they taste so good on the inside!  I laugh when I think about the huge, yellow, pristine looking bananas we have back home.  You won’t find that here either.

9- The Indian Head Bob.  If you ever watched Outsourced, you know exactly what I am talking about and they were NOT exaggerating.  The head bob literally means yes, no, maybe, sure, and I don’t know – all rolled into one.  We have a fun time trying to talk to the office staff at Seva Kendra and this is how the conversation usually goes:

Me: Hey Mary, is it ok if I do this?
Mary: *Head Bob (looks kind of like shaking your head no)
Me: Oh, I can’t?
Mary: *Head Bob while saying yes (looks like a contradiction – yes and no??)
Me: Wait, yes or no?
Mary: *Head Bob
Me: *sighs and walks away, defeated by the Indian Head Bob

10 – The culture if fascinating.  Somewhere between the crazy bus rides, car horns, lack of places to pee, heat-stroke inducing weather, no privacy, cat calls from strange men, black boogers, and weird looking bananas – I have decided that India is pretty cool.  I have no problem remaining here for 4 more weeks.

I could go on for days about all of the cool things about India, but thank you for remaining with me to hear about these ten! :)

Lots of love
Elaina and Heide

Heide at the Victoria Memorial